If Only He Knew

VampireGirl66

i think it was really good. i am going to write a story about a love so strong nothing coould break it. a love that even being transformed into natural enemies still couldn't break it, or maby it could get them both killed. it'll be awesome, but i wont be done til a lot later. can you help me out a little? does that sound like an enteresting book? i am only going to write it in chapters. i will need help with it though. when i get done with the first chapter ill put it on. when i am done can you go read it and tell me what you think?
i like to read and write books and a lot of people tell me what i write is good but i would like to know what a complete stranger would think of it.
and if you do read it if there is something you think would go better or if something should be changed i work it in the copy ill have in my documents. please tell me if you would do that for me.

Jelica

I know how you felt.It brings me back to my childhood when I loved a boy so much. He still doesn't know of it.
Well done. Your good at writing poetry I might add!

BlackTear

This is a sweet poem :) I'm surprised you only have one up on booksie! If you have anymore you need to put them up on here :))

wetgirl17

i agree with blacktear!
the people want more poems!
lol good work!

XxashleyxX

wow that was really good! i could feel what you felt and that's really important to tell the reader right away. good job =)

hhhh

I know exactly how you feel. You should write more of these, you did really good! I really like this and I'm pretty sure everybody has felt this way and that's why this is so special!

Brian W

Young love is so strong. I can feel your love for him as I am reading this and also your sadness as he does not know. A well written poem from your heart.

PoetsDemise14

aww this was so sweet!! ^-^
i loved this so much,
hehe its one of those poems i can just read over & over again & it still gives u that same wonderful feeling when u first read it hehe :D lol
hmm have u ever thought of showin him this delightful poem ;) hehe
keep it up


sincerely,
Tricia-Marie

BLOODTHIRSTY

Well its good but if you like this guy so much quit saying what if or if only. tell him how your feeling and whats the worst that could happen him say i dont feel that way and if he doesnt feel that way about you then his loss

Kairi

I really like this!!!!!!!! Write MORE poems!!!! :))

Magical Personification

I loved this poem. It felt very deep and I know how you feel. It can be very hard when losing a guy you've always loved. It always happened to me, and I've been getting every help from everyone who comforted me and saved my burning heart.

Don't let anything affect your writing, because everyone on Booksie loves your work. =) We're noticing amazing impression of you the way you make splendid flows with words.

Name's Evan Quade, and I'm Tricia-Marie(PoetDemise14)'s love of her life.

-Evan

kma

If only you know,

How much I like it.
that was realy good. That's a true love. good work, keep it up.

BlackTear

Hey! Vi! Chapter 11 is out! It's called "Remember?" :)

BlackTear

Oh! And I read your replies to my comments. I think personally we should do the chapters instead, it would be easier. The ideas for the problems/struggle or whatever with my character is 1) she'd doing Heroin, and actually, thats the only one I have along with a couple loose strings. I get inspiration from books and I just read "Candy" by Kevin Brooks... so yea. What are your ideas?
And no problem about I Like It votes, you always give them to me!!!
:)BlackTear(:

BlackTear

Lol, I'm working on chapter 13 now, but it won't be finished until tomorrow XD I'm really writing, I can't believe it! Oh, I gave you my password, but not my e-mail. Since we sign in with e-mail instead of username this is the e-mail I use: [email protected]
Okay, so Sarah and Mary Brian are friends right? And who should start the novel? What should we call it?

BlackTear

And you're right, we do give each other a lot of "i like it" votes! And comments, I think this is good for ratings :)

Death Holy

Truly something sweet. Love is so pure in time. Love grows and conquers all. You seem to find someone in your life very passionate. Passionate towards yourself. The feelings of peace and calmness you feel around that special somebody. It is a feeling that is irreplacable. It is a feeling unmatched by any other. I hope that your love goes well.
My favorite line, "To feel his warm lips against mine". It is a feeling that those who have felt love never forget. That single touch. It flows through and makes the heart beat strongly.

SadGirl2012

i loved it by the way i write poems 2! you should read some of mine if you ever have the time.

julistar

if you only knew how talented you are...Simple and great

Darknessinside

this poem is so sweet i wish i was him to have someone care so much about him like u do for him