Breathless
By Kayla Mariah Christiansen
"Simply upon looking into your eyes,
My knees quiver,
My cheeks turn flushed,
You leave me breathless.
Your sweet voice,
Your gentle touch,
Your loving eyes,
Your strong embrace,
All leave me breathless.
Time is unpredictable,
So hold me,
Love me,
Caress me,
Cherish me,
Be with me,
Before we both really are,
Breathless."
Submitted: March 12, 2013
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Comments
Read it like a soft, beautiful country song. Very nice :)
Tue, March 12th, 2013 7:05pmWritten very well. :)
Thu, March 14th, 2013 1:29pmRomantic and beautiful! Love the last line.
Fri, March 15th, 2013 7:10pmRomantic.... Loved it :))
Fri, May 31st, 2013 1:29pmOh this is so wonderful! Quite beautiful! I've been reading very good poetry this morning :D good way to start of the morning! It was beautiful and very well put together! If you have any other works you want me to read, please update me!
Yours,
Oz
I don't really 'do' poetry, I am here on your request. I like the end of this, it is beautiful. I'm sorry I can't be more useful, Poetry isn't something I'm good at or enjoy.
Thu, June 27th, 2013 7:36pmI thought this was very beautiful. You were able to capture how powerful love can really be for two people. Well done.
Thu, June 27th, 2013 7:53pmThis was beautiful. I picked up a rhythm right off the bat and it was a really powerful description of love. Great work!
Thu, June 27th, 2013 8:08pmThis is yet another great little poem. And it is so true, you should get all the love you can out of the people you love because one day, as you have said, they/you will be breathless. I loved this poem, so touching and moving, and just amazing.
Thu, June 27th, 2013 9:54pmthis was a sweet one and I can understand the feelings behind it. But i am not very good at feeding back on poetry so sorry i couldnt be more appreciative lol
Thu, June 27th, 2013 10:18pmThat is simply beautiful. And its been a while since i read anything that touched me as much. It was very well written i agree.
Thu, June 27th, 2013 10:45pmThe ending relayed a sense of belonging to the other character, before their time runs short...your heart speaks in this poem, and its what should be speaking for all your writing...Nice work ^_^
Fri, June 28th, 2013 2:09amI'm not the greatest with poetry, but I did enjoy this. I sensed that the feeling was mutual between both of the people in the couple. You chose beautiful words for this poem. Awesome job!
Fri, June 28th, 2013 4:45pmNice! all the trappings of love right there and "yes" time is unpredictable, so make the most of it until we are breathless! great stuff! breathless as in death but also with loves kiss, great use of words ")
Fri, June 28th, 2013 6:15pmIt's beautiful! I like flow and how you used short, simple lines, and yet they portrayed so much emotion into them!
-melinda XD
This was really sweet and simple. I'm pretty sure everyone has felt this way at least once before. Perfect poem, and easily relatable. Great job!
Sat, June 29th, 2013 12:25amI agree with my friends, Mrs. Bradbury, Criss, AirLionHeart, Rebecca, MK Brown and Dino, lol, on this one. This one also was beautiful and powerful in its simplicity. Very well done. I agree this one almost reads like a song, perhaps country, hehe. I also agree that this one was touching, moving, sweet and full of feelings. And lastly as Dino has said, yes time is unpredictable. So we really have to make the most of what we can, while we can. Thanks again, for yet another really great poem. Do keep up the good work and always keep writing. Take care, madam. :o)
Sat, June 29th, 2013 12:38amThis is truly beautiful! Well done!
Sat, June 29th, 2013 4:24amAh, that was so lovely! Toward the end it really picked up pace and then ended so elegantly, leaving me feeling 'breathless' with that last line. Beautiful work. I loved it. :D
Sun, June 30th, 2013 10:18amFacebook Comments
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milmax
very good rythmic style thank you
Tue, March 12th, 2013 1:46pmAuthor
Reply
Thank you.:)
Tue, March 12th, 2013 7:25am