Allen Fried

Hi, I'm Allen Fried - part human, part chaotic imagination machine. My brain is basically a blender set to "random story puree" where epic action scenes and bizarre character interactions collide.

I write down the weird narratives bouncing around my skull so normal people can glimpse my beautifully deranged thought process. Sometimes they're dark. Sometimes they're nonsensical. Always unpredictable.

P.S: Please don't expect my writings to be good. My editor Allen Knet tolerates my creative chaos (and I occasionally remember to pay him... maybe). We're basically arch-nemeses united by the sacred bond of turning my brain-static into somewhat coherent prose.

Anyways, here are a few things about me

- Hate lava

- Love anime

- In love with my water bottle <= Named it. Proposed. No regrets.

- Had a crush on Rebecca Black once, didn't turn out so well

- I threw a rock at a dog once and it pooped at the same time

- I am literally obsessed with stories. I write every single day.

- Has a secret handshake with the neighbor's cat

- Believes cereal is acceptable at any meal

- Thinks Google Maps is a life coach

- Considers sleeping a competitive sport

- Considers existential crisis a hobby

Accidentally collected restraining orders from:

- A vending machine

- An aggressive squirrel

- Various parking meters

Professional skills:

- Microwave gourmet chef

- Conspiracy theorist (pigeons are DEFINITELY government drones)

- Competitive sleeper

- Wedding album photobomber (17 confirmed missions)

- Houseplant debate champion

People I Irrationally Despise

- Ginga from Beyblade <= Ignored my existence

- Rebecca Black <= Long, dramatic story

- Megan Fox <= She probably stole money from someone

- Kim Kardashian <= Pure evil

- My neighbor <= Definitely plotting something

- Misty from Pokemon <= Never liked her

Celebrities who deserve my wrath:

Steve Harvey <= Perpetually confused comedian

Justin Bieber <= Walking helmet haircut

Nicolas Cage <= One espresso away from total meltdown

The Rock <= Eyebrow has more personality than most humans

P.S. I AM SCARED OF NOTHING! (Except maybe water, spiders, and tinfoil)

Also, here my nice website: https://friedreads.com/

I decided to make my own website so I can add beautiful articles, like this one: 

Also, I have posted my writings there, so if you wish to read them, it's another option: 

So if you want to read beautifully formated articles, read my novels, do consider checking it out. I try to update it regularly :). Also, it has a beautiful Dark/Light toggle theme.

Also, other places if you wish to find me:

- Twitter: https://x.com/Allen_Fried

- RoyalRoad: https://www.royalroad.com/profile/626183

- WattPad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/Allen_Fried

- Ream: https://reamstories.com/page/m5rlgj3qr0/public

Well, that was a lot of information. 

If you wish for me to read anything, if I'm not busy, I'll be more then happy to. Just shoot a message. I'll read it, and give devastating feedback >:) Criticism which will make even the toughest human crack and cry like a baby. So do proceed with caution. >:)

Milestones:

1000 Reads - June 29 2018

2000 Reads - July 7 2018

10000 Reads - February 19 2019

100000 Reads - I have no idea when I hit this to be honest