Featured Review on this writing by Michael Cleary
"There's a lot to like about this work. First of all I like that it doesn't rhyme which for me brings a maturity and seriousness to the work. Second I commend you on your willingness to break up the stanza pattern by varying the length and the lines. This in my opinion fits well with the idea of wrinkles in the fruit with is also an odd pattern. Finally you maintained a solid commitment to connecting with your reader thought some sensory words and illustration. Good execution and excellent results. This is how poems should be written."
Divine Dates
You ever look at a date
and marvel at its ridges—
each wrinkle and line
a testament to time?
Dipped in chocolate and sea salt,
They are simply divine.
I ponder dates like these.
You took me to a quiet dinner,
ditched your friends online
To say you had been waiting patiently–
for me to accept your offering.
Another wrinkle, another line—
You took me to a movie,
We packed our snacks.
You forgot a bottle opener,
We sealed that night
With the touch of our lips.
What an unforgettable closer!
Another wrinkle, another sign—
I sit at the counter,
I dip another date.
I think about Chicago—
we got in your car,
we just picked up to go,
like a joyride.
Another wrinkle, another line—
in time.
Submitted: February 26, 2025
© Copyright 2025 Betty Caprelli. All rights reserved.
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Michael Cleary
There's a lot to like about this work. First of all I like that it doesn't rhyme which for me brings a maturity and seriousness to the work. Second I commend you on your willingness to break up the stanza pattern by varying the length and the lines. This in my opinion fits well with the idea of wrinkles in the fruit with is also an odd pattern. Finally you maintained a solid commitment to connecting with your reader thought some sensory words and illustration. Good execution and excellent results. This is how poems should be written.
Wed, February 26th, 2025 8:53pmAuthor
Reply
You're comment matches what I was going for perfectly! Thanks so much!
Wed, February 26th, 2025 3:30pm