Chapter 8: CHAPTER EIGHT

Chapter 8

When Robbie comes home, he has a very calm look on his face. This is unusual for him, and so I am nervous. In fact, I’m terrified and my body is trembling.

“Please, can we talk?” I ask him when he gets here.

“I guess so,” he says. “Sit down, I’ll be right back.”

Robbie goes into the kitchen and I wander into the living space.

I am in total utter shock when Robbie comes back into the room- with both Christian and Isabel behind him.

I stand up, startled.

“I asked them to come,” Robbie explains quickly.

Isabel rushes over to me and gives me a hug. I hug her back but I’m more confused now than ever.

Robbie and Christian sit together on the couch opposite us and sigh.

“What is going on, you guys?” asks Isabel, as surprised as I am.

“Christian and I went golfing,” explains Robbie. “He texted me to talk and so we did.”

“You went golfing?” I ask Robbie, surprised because I know he usually hates to golf.

Robbie nods.

Christian sighs and looks at us. “Listen. What you girls did was not fucking cool. You really hurt us.”

“Lying is never ok,” adds Robbie. “You both betrayed us.”

“But,” Christian continues, “Robbie and I have been talking about it for a while and- well, honestly, we can understand why this happened.”

Isabel and I look at each other.

“You can?” she asks.

Robbie and Christian look over at each other and nod.

“Yeah,” says Robbie. “We knew you girls were getting close. And the two of you are good friends, home alone all day….and, well, we get it.”

I look at Robbie quizzically.

“What do you mean, you ‘get it?’” I ask in confusion.

Robbie sighs. “Luce, I understand why you guys…you know. Fell for each other.”

Isabel looks over at me with wide eyes. I don’t know what to say.

“Are you saying you forgive us?” asks Isabel. “Both of you?”

Christian and Robbie both sigh and nod.

“Yeah,” says Christian. “Sure, we do. Actually, we’re kind of sorry we freaked out so damn badly.”

“No!” I say quickly. “You have every right to be angry! You have every right to hate us!”

Robbie and Christian chuckle.

“We love you girls,” says Christian.

“We do,” agrees Robbie. “Look, we’re all friends now. Let’s just be honest with each other. Can we all do that at least?”

Isabel and I look at them and nod, then at each other and smile.

“So…we can keep being friends?” asks Isabel. “Lucy and I? I mean, we’ll only see each other when you guys are around, obviously. It’ll always be the four of us when we’re together!”

“No,” says Robbie.

I look over at him, now even more confused.

Christian clears his throat and says, “Robbie and I talked it out. We can clearly see you girls love each other. We love you, too, which is why we were super pissed with both of you. Girls, do you still love us?”

“Oh my God!” I cry. “Absolutely, Robbie!”

“Christian, of course, I do!” cries Isabel.

Robbie and Christian smile at each other and nod at us.

“Then I don’t see any reason why you girls can’t be with each other,” says Robbie.

Isabel and I look at each other and then at them.

“What?” I manage to say.

“As long as you girls aren’t planning to run away from us,” laughs Christian, “I don’t see the harm in the two of you being together.”

“I don’t either,” seconds Robbie. “Christian and I are good friends. I consider you a good friend, too, Isabel.”

“Oh, and I feel the same for you,” Isabel tells him sincerely.

“You’re a good friend to me, too, Lucy,” Christian says as he looks at me. “You’re a good person. I trust you.”

“And I trust Isabel,” says Robbie.

“Are you saying-” Isabel begins. “Are you saying that we can stay married to you, and you would let Lucy and I be together, too? At the same time?”

The guys nod and laugh.

“I honestly can’t think of a better idea,” says Robbie. “We love you guys and we don’t want to lose the friendship. And Lucy- I really want you to be happy. Isabel makes you happy.”

“You do, too,” I remind him firmly.

“Exactly,” he says. “So, we all stay friends, we all stay married, and now you two don’t have to hide your love for each other.”

The men look genuinely ok with this. I look over at Isabel and her mouth is open.

“Are you guys sure you’re- you’re ok with this?” I ask. “Even if Isabel and I- well, sleep with each other?”

“It’s all good,” says Christian, “so long as you don’t leave your men in the dust.”

“You guys are actually ok with this?” I ask again.

The guys nod and laugh at us as Isabel takes my hand and pulls me closer.

“Will it bother you if I- if I kiss her?” asks Isabel.

Christian and Robbie pretend to politely be ok with it, but I can see the hints of smiles on their faces. They’re much more than just ok with it.

Isabel grabs my head in my hands and we kiss. It’s odd kissing in front of our husbands for a second, but when we look at them, they are looking at us like they just won the lottery.

I walk over to Robbie and kiss him, as Isabel does the same to Christian.

“Well, I’m getting kind of hungry,” says Robbie. “You guys want to go to the pancake house?”

Isabel and Christian nod.

“Hell yeah,” says Christian. “I’m in the mood for a vegan pancake.”

So, we agree to get ready and meet at the pancake house.

During the whole drive, Robbie and I don’t say a thing. Not one single word. It’s almost like we don’t have to. We glance over at each other here and there and smile. Everything’s ok and Robbie forgives me. He understands.

And we all have a great time talking about the party while eating pancakes, Isabel and I squeezing each other’s hands- this time, not hiding it under the table. And when we get home, we allow Christian and Robbie to play a video game while we spend time with each other- in the jacuzzi.

“I can’t even believe this,” squeals Isabel, her hand on my thigh under the hot water. “They actually are ok with it. See, I told you they’d cool off.”

I can’t help but smile. “Well, this is definitely something I never thought would happen to me, and I guess I’m a little scared. But I’m also happy. Really happy.” I lean over to kiss her. “I get to keep you, and that’s something I could have never dreamed of.”

“I love you, Lucy,” she says.

“I love you, too, Isabel,” I answer.

Life is good. Isabel and I spend time together most days, while the four of us gather a couple of nights out of the week. Robbie and I make time to have a date night every week where it is just us two (and the kids if they cannot stay with our family members), and Isabel and Christian do the same.

And, as the winter ends and spring blossoms around us, I realize that I could not be any happier than I am right now. It’s a secret that no one but the four of us know, and it actually pulls us closer together, as odd as that is. I have my Robbie and my Isabel, and both of them together make my heart full and completed, for they are the two halves of my heart. And I know now that everything happened as it should have, despite our situation being “taboo.” As Isabel says, “Who cares?” It’s our happiness that matters, and now we all can enjoy this happiness together, our love forming a tight bond that shatters any conventional roles or ideas about what love should look like.

I know now that love doesn’t necessarily look like any one specific thing. It is always about trust and affection, and our love may be unique but it is still love. I am in love with two people equally, both at once, and I am learning how to be ok with that instead of ashamed. After all, it’s only society that shames us. As Isabel says, “who gives a fuck about society?” I certainly don’t- at least not anymore. Isabel has shown me a different way to live- a way where I am in control and have the power to love and express this love in any way I want to.

And that, I think to myself, is a good way to live.