a piece that does not fit the puzzle

I've wanted to become a doctor since forever. Studying and studying and more studying. I'm a person who enjoys studying. I'm a person who enjoys learning new things. I'm a person who enjoys silence when I study. I NEED silence when I learn. The exams..., are near. Anxiety is eating me alive. And the noise is breaking me. 

I come back from school after 6 hours. I find my mother talking on the phone, my sister talking on the phone, my father not home. I am tired and hungry.  I go to the kitchen, no food. I eat a toast. I go to the bedroom and sit down to study till my next lessons at 18:30pm. The silence is hid deep in the earth. I hear only voices, my mother's and my sister's. I stand up and go to the living room where they are. "Can you please be quiet?", "Come on!" is the answer I get back. I go to the bedroom, close the door. Noise. Noise. Noise.

I come back from school after 6 hours. I find my mother sleeping and my sister on the phone. I go to the kitchen. I find a sandwich bought from a supermarket and eat it. "That was mine!", my sister screams. By the way she is older than me. I ignore her and go to the bedroom to study. My only friend, the books and the pens. Tiktok sounds are filling my head. "Lower the volume." I tell her. She ignores me. 

I come back from school after 7 hours. My mom is talking with my sister. "Hello", I tell them. They ignore me and continue their talk. I go to the kitchen. It smells like beef but I see no beef. I go to the living room. "Where is the food?". "We ate it"  my sister answers. I go to the bathroom, lock the door and cry my eyes out. As quietly as I can. "Are you done with the toilet? Come on!" my mother says. I wash my eyes and lower my head so that she could not see my reddish, hurt eyes. I open the door and continue to look at the floor. "One hour!" she says and goes is the bathroom. She did not notice, cool. I go to the bedroom and study. Noise. Noise. Noise. My hands start trembling. Tears are streaming down my face. "CAN YOU BE QUIET!?", I scream my lungs out. "DON'T TALK LIKE THAT. NO, I DONT WANT TO BE QUIET", my mother answers me in a furious tone. It's been 3 fays since I've talked to my dad I think. How ironic, we live in the same house.

Saturday. I wake up at 5:30am. I see my dad preparing for work. He sees me. "Why did you wake up so early? Go sleep.", is the first thing he tells me in 3 days. Please father, tell me goodmorning. Ask me how studying's been going. Ask me if I'm tired. Ask me if I want help. Ask me how do I feel. No one has asked me these questions in so long. He leaves. 

My family... My family, I think. I do not match my family, I think. They get along better, I think. I'm a useless member, I think. I am alone, I think.

I think, I hate them. How can I hate my family?

I think, maybe I should hate myself. I should be like them.

Why do you want to become a doctor my lovely child? They have never asked me that.

I support you my daughter or my sister. I have never heard that word. Support. 

I support myself, I think.

I think, I need someone to support me too.

What was wrong with my piece of the puzzle?