Unmissable investment opportunity

Unmissable investment opportunity.

Agent Orange, alias Donald Grump, also known affectionately as the “Teflon Don” announced to a crowded press conference that he has secured a real estate deal of historic proportions. The Don said he is excited to offer you the citizens a share in this lucrative and momentous acquisition. The first six thousand investors will receive a 30% discount on any house or “condo” purchased before January 2026.

This significant development he went on to say will comprise thousands of beach front properties and amenities consistent with a world class leisure and entertainment capital. Mr Melton Usk, CEO and finance director of the project outlined for the press his vision for the future. We have secured said Usk a partnership with a sovereign government who will guarantee security and long-term tenure. The site which comprises millions of hectares is prime real estate with significant beach front and sea view potential. This will be a private finance initiative which will allow ordinary folk to participate.

When asked by journalists the currents state of development “The Don” said the whole site was in poor condition. It had been flattened but required clearing to make way for up market houses apartments hotels and infrastructure. He was confident, given finance and military protection the project could be started as early as this year. Whilst the whole scheme may take ten years to complete, modern construction techniques would allow the first phase to be finished quite quickly.

A question from the floor suggested that the current population of two point four million people may pose a problem for any future US development programme. Mr Melton Usk was quick to point out that 2+ million people, the majority of whom are non-Christian could not be allowed to frustrate US ambitions in the Middle East. Mr Grump interjected and said the 2 million folks could be persuaded to move. To the amusement of many he told his audience “They will all be made an offer they can’t refuse”!

In his closing remarks Mr Grump said he expected all patriotic Americans to get behind the plan and take advantage of the generous discounts available for early “off plan” purchases. Make America great again!!