Hells Cycle: I am Alone

All of the souls I was once kindred to have withered away

leaving the broken remains of who I once was

what I used to be

There should be a point where I would stop trying

but I keep trying and trying-

Attempting to weasel my way back into whatever routine and normalcy I had

Persistence is a curse and I pity those who will let go

and leave someone out like trash. I can’t believe that I was blocked,

but I should have seen it because

the trash I was called left a stain on my heart,

haltering my progress and growth:

a wilted draughted plant

The deep pain is like a boisterous lipoma 

digging its fingers deeper. and deeper.

Some day I will have to give up but that day is nowhere near

So if you'll excuse my attitude or my angry words

you left me here like a puppy you got bored of.

A broken toy from your dollhouse that you replace with the newest and prettiest model that hasn't half the personality as I.

Take your shitty lies and get out

because I can't leave on my own.

I'm trapped in a cycle that I was born into.

A cycle that is unstoppable from the inside

ripping and tearing at pieces of my being

Look into my eyes and see the truth: that

I wear my heart on my sleeve and I am constantly thrown into doorjambs

bruising ripping pulling at my soul.

Tear as many pieces as you want from me

because I will stick with you,

accepting the treatment as a stray.

I can't escape my own brain like you can your broken dolls

But It's all fun and games until your toys fight back,

fight back against the abuse you subject them to

and make you hurt for leaving that poor puppy in the field.

We all know that a dog cannot survive on his own and will starve when abandoned

Figure out that when a dependency is born,

so is a cycle. A cycle that is inescapable and gray. 

Seeing you in my blocked accounts drives me mad-

I need answers, reasons, anything!

 but I'm too brave to try your game again.

Rye Moira Hebert 2025