Dealers Hand

There are no stars in the sky tonight 

No star to look up, to share my burdens

I did see a plane

but the plane did not see me

for I am the invisible-

never seen no matter how hard I cry

and how hard I beg 

for empathy, I am in desperate need

I haven't a soul to trust 

nor do I want to trust a soul.

Pity falls around me like a cold and bitter rain,

but my cries have yet to hit the ears

muffled by my sins. my cries are unheard

or better yet, let's say they're ignored

because that's who I am-

I am the one you pass by and haven't a second thought, nor a second glance

Hell, I didn't have a first.

I pray that I will not be the emotional tragedy that I have always feared

and I instead will be someone, and something, that is hard to ignore

These thoughts are booming in my head

these emotions bigger than my shell can hold

My heart is bleeding out and all I need are some bandaids

I know it's pitiful to say such a thing and yet I get pity for the wrong things

Empathize with how I feel:

I lost everyone

those I sacrificed myself for

And no one asks me how I am, no one asks me how I've been coping

They ignore me until it's convenient to love me again. 

Friends turned to foes and foes turned to spirits that haunt my mind and never my inbox

I am alone; picking up the phone to the telemarketers just to hear someone say my name

I am the forgotten and the unheard and you think you are unheard too

so why make me feel the pain of which you have been dealt