Still Here

My friend recently shared something she read in a book: when sorrow or pain inflate and push our hearts beyond their normal capacity, God uses that extra space to create room for deeper love and understanding. 

Then she asked me, “Have you experienced that?”

Maybe. Even in the depths of pain—when life feels harder than death—I find moments so sweet they move me to tears.

Though I wake up every morning with a vast void in my chest, an almost unbearable ache, by the time I go to bed—after a full day of work and social interactions—I usually feel grateful for the day.

A woman I met at a GriefShare group feels the same way when she wakes up. In fact, she prays: “Lord, I am here against my will. So it must be your will for me to still be here. Show me what you want me to do today.”

Then, whoever she encounters—whether a stranger or even a customer service representative on the phone—she asks how she can pray for them. By the end of the day, she has a story to share and a purpose for her day.

The thought that we matter is profoundly uplifting and brings light to our eyes. 

Pain has detached me from earthly things and I long for heaven. I totally relate to Asaph’s words in Psalm 73:25:  

”Whom have I in heaven but you? And besides you, earth has nothing I want.”