Chapter 3: Why Must Love Be So Painful?

Dusana’s flute trilled a slow, plaintive tune that echoed off the stones of the early morning campus. He paced slowly nearby as I sifted through my notebook. 

 Aldro approached from the south, materializing from behind the sundial and smiling boyishly upon seeing me. His normally hesitant step was absent, replaced by a bold, youthful stride. He sat on the long stone bench next to me. I noticed the purple robes he wore lacked the shabbiness of last week’s attire.

 “Syndeeka, it’s good to see you again. Did you enjoy Bardrakeu’s party? I certainly did.”

 I thought of the flaming dead man and recalled when Mala and I stripped his companion’s mask and hooded cloak from his still-warm carcass. We’d removed some sort of iron pipe with strangely-pronged ends from his bag. Mala took the pouches from his belt, telling me she would try to study the powders they held. 

 I insisted we try to climb the rope up out of the chamber, but only after we hid the corpses under one of the cobwebbed tables in the catacombs. We coiled the rope and its anchoring hook and slipped them into the bag when we reached the surface. Then we headed out a side exit in the hopes of avoiding the posted guard. Soon the sun rose and we had a short wait until the aqueduct galley pulled up to whisk us back to the city. 

 The rest of the Lady’s day consisted of me laying up in bed recovering from the attack and trying to decipher the pathetic constellations I’d drawn as part of my incomplete notes. 

 “Syndeeka?”

 I looked to Aldros’s confused face.

 “Oh. Yes. Yes, it was a nice affair, wasn’t it?”

 Aldro placed a gentle hand on my arm. “I think I’m in love.”

 I rubbed one eye. “Eshendisa?”

 His smile spread into a toothy grin and he uttered a spastic soft laugh  like a cough. “I’ve never known any woman like her before. She’s actually interested in astronomy.”

 “A woman interested in stargazing? What an insane notion!”
 
 Aldro chuckled. “I didn’t mean it to come out that way, Syndeeka. I respect your knowledge of the heavens. But Eshendisa actually wishes to be an astronomer.”

 Did he think I was just a tutor? I felt like pointing out to this love-smitten young boy that when I was his age I’d helped my mentor compile an astronomical calendar for an entire kingdom. Why bother telling him? I thought.

 “Aldro, I’m happy for you…”

 “Yes?”

 “But you just met her the night before last. You hardly know her. It’s good you're feeling so enthusiastic right now, but she’s practically a stranger.”

 His smile sagged. “You don’t know what I feel. What about you? Have you ever been in love? Most women your age are already married.”

 Bold, wasn’t he?

 I sighed.

 “I do not wish to go into the details of my personal life, Aldro.”

 “Why? What have you to hide? You’re pretty; somebody should have taken you up by now.”

 I closed my notebook. “You don’t know all the circumstances of my life, young man.” I placed my head in my hand and stared at the flagstones. “I could tell stories from my past you’d never believe.”

 “Like what? Have you killed a man?”

 I smiled and looked at him. “No. No, I can’t say I’ve killed one single man. The fact of the matter is, Aldro, I’ve killed many, many men, some as young and self-assured as you.”

 He chuckled. “I don’t believe you.”

 “Believe what you want.”

 “You didn’t answer my question.”

 “About love?”

 “Yes.”

 I paused for what seemed eons before answering. 

 “I’m afraid it didn’t work out.”

 Aldro stood, a smug grin on his face. “See, you’re not one to talk.”

 “He’s dead.”

 “What?”

 “He was a lord in one of the kingdoms to the north.” I closed my eyes tightly. “I failed him…”

 Aldro laughed. “Syndeeka, you’re the mistress of the tall tale.”

 At that moment, I wanted to slap him across the mouth. “Let me assure you, Aldro, you are not in love. Infatuated, yes. But you barely know her. You and she could suffer a world of despair if you can’t rid your mind of such foolish notions.”

 He frowned at me. “I don’t think I want you for a tutor anymore. I’ll talk to my father. He can get someone else assigned to me.”

 “Don’t you think you’re being a little rash, Aldro?”

 He turned his back on me and stormed away across the courtyard.

 I sighed. Now what was I supposed to use for a front?

 Dusana stopped playing and smiled gently. “Don’t worry, Syndeeka.”

 “Why?”

 “Well, look at it this way. I’m sure your day can’t get any worse.”

 He placed the reed mouthpiece back to his lips and resumed playing. 

 Idiot!
 

 “Tulonan,” I called from where I sat by the instructor’s office door. 

 Walking down the colonnade corridor, Tulonan smiled good-naturedly upon seeing me. “Syndeeka, right?”

 “Yes.” I stood, closing my notebook and sliding it into my shoulder bag.

 He looked to the ceiling, clearing his throat. “I’m afraid I still haven’t returned that scroll to the library. I do beg your forgiveness, my Ushe friend.”

 “That’s not the least of my concerns. I seem to have lost my job today.”

 A sympathetic look washed over his plump features. “Oh, well I’m very sorry to hear that. But there are plenty of students who would gladly retain the services of an astronomy tutor. If you want, I can ask around.”

 “Oh! Certainly. That would be much appreciated. But the reason for my visit is that I need to know specifically about the zodiac of the ancient Samarthoph.”

 Tulonan fetched a key from the purse at his belt and unlocked his door. “Why do you need that information?”

 “Well, I came upon an old Samarthoph fresco with their serpent goddess. She was eating an egg with a zodiac pictured on its shell.”

 Tulonon gently laughed as he opened the door. “She’s not eating the egg-- she’s cradling it in her mouth. She’s the cosmic mother.”

 He stepped into his office and I followed him in. The office was small with an arched window overlooking the main campus.

 “Is the serpent that the Celestial Lord and Lady killed and made into the Divine Diamond Highway the goddess of the Samarthoph?”

 Adjusting his dark blue robes, Tulonan seated himself at a rosewood desk cluttered with books and lecture scrolls and smiled. “Serpents are recurring images in the myths of many a people.”

 There was a wicker stool before his desk so I sat down. “So you’re not sure, then?”

 Tulonan raised his hands and splayed his fingers. “I’m really not certain. I can tell you that the Equoci have vilified their predecessors over the past several thousand years. But I’m no expert when it comes to the Samarthoph.”

 “You must know something about them. They were astronomers.”

 Tulonan riffled through several scrolls, chuckling. “Most ancient societies practiced some form of stargazing, whether they called it astrology or astronomy.”

 “But you understand the Samarthoph religion.”

 He removed the thong from a scroll and unrolled the document. “Mostly how it relates to their notions of the heavens.”

 I decided to take a different tack in my questioning. “I have just under three months to find someone. Is there anything significant about the next few months?”

 Tulonan’s eyebrows raised. “You don’t realize the major astronomical event that happens in three months' time?”

 It instantly occurred to me then. “Oh. That’s right.” I placed my fingertip on my temple. “The Vernal Equinox.”

 “Which is also the Equoci New Year.”

 “Spring and rebirth.”

 “Yes.” He laid the unrolled document on his desk and pointed to the illustration of a zodiac.

 “That’s the scroll from the library.”

 “And look at this.”

 I leaned over the desk and saw his finger on the drawing of a baboon-headed man holding a spear aloft. Beneath the drawing was a pattern of stars matching the figure’s form.

 “Is that the zodiac sign that corresponds with the coming of spring?”

 “Not for the Equoci.”

 “Oh, the Samarthoph sign. But wait.” I placed my finger on a snake constellation right next to the baboon man. “Wouldn’t this make more sense?”

 “That’s a few weeks before the Equinox.”

 I sat back on my stool. “But the sky changes over thousands of years. I know there would have been a different pole star two thousand years ago. My old master had told me that even the constellations of a zodiac don’t stay aligned with calendar dates after a long enough period.”

 “Hmmm…” Tulonan sat back in his chair. “You may be right.” 

 He fished an egg-shaped piece of amber from a belt pouch and placed it to his eye.

 “What is that?”

 “Oh, this?” He was scanning the text of the scroll while squinting through the amber. “Just a tool I need to aid me in reading peoples’ handwriting. It magnifies whatever I’m looking at. I’m afraid my eyes aren’t what they used to be.”

 “That’s interesting. I wonder if you could point it at the night sky.”

 Tulonan laughed. “It’s amber; I doubt you’d be able to make out anything in the night sky with this. Too dark.”

 “Well, maybe you could make one of those reading lenses from some other material. Perhaps polished quartz?”

 “I never thought of that. But I’ve just found an answer to your question, Syndeeka. According to Lanusquio, there may very well have been some deviation in the alignment of the Samarthoph zodiac signs with certain dates.” He sighed. “The problem is that we have few pieces of their literature. The Eqoci burnt all their libraries when they overtook the Samarthoph city-states back in the day.”

 “And this campus was built over the remains of a Samarthoph city. Suhodeton’s automaton in the courtyard is located over a deep well leading to the old catacombs.”

 Tulonan looked surprised. “How is it you know that? You didn’t go and climb over the coiled snake and peer down there, did you?”

 I chuckled. “No, don’t be ridiculous. There’s no way to get a decent handhold on our scaly friend. I just flew in a balloon over the campus and looked down.”

 “You shouldn’t go messing with those catacombs. It’s not safe.”

 “So people have been telling me.”  

 Losing my job as a tutor had made staying on campus seem pointless. Aldro would tell his friends, and I had little interest in explaining to them why I was still loitering about the academy grounds when I no longer had a good reason to be there. It wasn’t long after my meeting with Tulonan that I was able to catch a water shuttle back to the city. I climbed the three flights of stairs of my apartment building to get to my floor, only to run into Demitos at the head of the stairwell.

 “Why are you here?” I asked.

 Demitos, now draped in a somber gray robe, frowned and stared down at me with large, heavy eyes. “I just needed someone to confide in, Syndeeka. I always liked our conversations when I used to come chat with you in the palace dungeon, so I thought maybe you’d be willing to lend a sympathetic ear.”

 “Have you just been loitering on these stairs all this time?”

 I waved him to follow me as I crossed through the entrance to my floor and headed for my flat. When we were alone inside my apartment I put my things down on the small table Mala and I would eat at and faced Demitos.  

 “I wasn’t sure when you would return,” he said, eyeing the drab gray walls.

 “Well, luckily for you, I was fired today. Otherwise, you’d have been waiting till close to sundown.”

 I sat on one of the stools and he took the other.

 Demitos put his head in his hands and slowly inhaled through clenched teeth before looking me in the face. “I don’t know what to think of him anymore.”

 “Fodineo?”

 He rested his chin in one hand. “Yes. The party we had over the weekend has changed everything.”

 I placed my elbows on the table and clasped my hands together. “May I ask why?”

 “I had thought that he’d put all his old ways behind him. When we’d gone through the commitment ceremony three months ago, he’d told me that he wanted to shed his vices and try and concentrate on being a better, more responsible ruler.”

 “Commitment ceremony?”

 “Oh, I should have told you the last time I saw you, Syndeeka. Fodineo and I have sworn a lifelong bond of love.”

 “You mean marriage?”

 “Marriage is a lesser commitment between a man and a woman. This is more important; it’s the loving union of two equals. I have legal rights no woman would be allowed in Equoci society.”

 I couldn’t help but to heave a sigh. “I’ll never understand your people’s disdain for the female sex. Regardless, I’m happy for you…Oh. That’s related to the issue, though.”

 Demitos wiped a hand over watering eyes. “I walked in on him in our sleeping chamber. He was in bed with two men and a very young girl!”

 “Uh…how young was the girl?”

 “Well, what was your age when you became a whore?”

 “Half the time I’m not even sure what my age is now. I believe I’m twenty-nine…maybe I was twelve?”

 “Oh. Well, perhaps it’s best I not tell you the answer.”
I cleared my throat. “I see. What is it you want to do now?”

 He waved a hand in the air. “I don’t think I can leave him.” He stared at me with sober eyes. “I’m afraid to.”

 “What legal rights do you have? Can you sue for divorce?”

 “Any rights that came with this union would dissolve if I left him. If he were to die, I’d inherit everything he owned.”

 “But he’s the Emperor.”

 “Exactly.”

 I started tapping the table. 

 “I wish I knew what to tell you, Demitos, but I’m little better than a stranger here. And if I fail in my mission I can’t say what he’ll do to me.”

 “Tell me what you need, Syndeeka. I can accommodate you with all manner of material goods.”

 “Really? Well, then, I need a skiff for paddling across the aqueduct.”

 He smiled. “Then you’ll have it.”

 Demitos stood.

 “I’m sorry I couldn’t give you any good advice concerning Fodineo,” I said. 

 He gently squeezed my arm. “Syndeeka, at this point I just need somebody to vent to. I have to share what’s going on inside of me. So I don’t feel so alone.”

 He looked down at the floor. “Why must love be so painful?”

I sighed. “I don’t know. It just is. Well, no…I suppose it’s really that the loss of someone you value leaves you with an emptiness. If you didn’t care, none of this would hurt much. But then the loss would be greater still; you’d just stop being human.”

 Demitos smiled. “So young yet so wise. I should be going then.”

 We walked to the door. As he touched his hand to the latch, I placed mine on his wrist.

 “One more thing, Demitos. This just occurred to me. Do you know anything about the Sepulchral Giant?”

 “The Sepulchral Giant?” He took his hand from the door and placed a finger on his temple. “I seem to recall a giant about five years ago. Fodineo had just been crowned Emperor. I was still only a servant at the palace. No, but I do remember he had a giant brought to the palace as part of his collection of freaks. A quiet man, no older than me. He always seemed to have his face in a scroll or a book.”
“Do you know what became of him?”

 “I know something of note happened. I forget what. I wasn’t a witness. But then he disappeared. I’d always assumed Fodineo had him killed.”

 One more piece of the puzzle?

 We said our goodbyes and I closed the door and reached for my key to lock it. But the key I pulled from my belt pouch was the one for Bardrakeu’s wine cellar.

 I knew I’d forgotten something!

 Should I drag myself all the way back to the philosopher’s academy? I didn’t want Bardrakeu getting the wrong idea about me. Very well, I’d make the tedious trip via water shuttle to the academy and try to find him. If he wasn’t there I could always go to his villa and claim the incident was just an honest mistake.

 But if I was going to return to the academy this close to sundown, I figured I should change into more appropriate clothing and pack a few things so I could continue my explorations of the catacombs.

 And this time I’d bring my sword.