Chapter 18: (v.2) A New Flirt Enters The Busy Life Of A University Student: Existential Fear and Family Dynamics

The next day arrived.

Eventually Christos didn’t succeed in studying much and the reason was that he had questions for that specific module to be examined in. Additionally, the dull grey walls of the flat bored him.

“Maybe I should pay a visit to the professor!” he thought.

He got out of the flat and walked to the university, taking with him the notes of the lesson he would be examined in but also his self–knowledge notes. He used to write down the work he did on paper, so that he wouldn’t forget an important realization, when that happened.

He arrived at the university and headed to the professor's office, who occurred to be there. The professor answered his questions and then Christos went to the library to study.

Even though he progressed forward in covering the reading material, his insecurity still skyrocketed for that module.

The library would close soon and noticing people leave, Christos went out of the library building. Outside, he joined a group of students he knew. He didn’t speak a lot in the group, but they generally accepted him and that feeling of acceptance made his burden lighter.

However, his notes also weighed lighter. Something was wrong!

“Oh no! I forgot the envelope with the self-knowledge notes!” he shouted and panicked. Many memories did he write on these notes to make registration changes. They contained private information with his name on! He imagined that the one who found them would laugh while reading them. He imagined that that person would also make Christos’ notes posters and stick them on every column and wall around the university.

He left the group of students and went to the library, almost out of control. The library was closed.

“I didn’t make it!” he thought terrified. “I’m doomed!”

Then he saw a paper attached on the library door. The paper said, “In case of an emergency, contact with office C1.”

Christos strode to office C1 and there, a chubby looking fellow sat in front of a computer.

“Ehh, excuse me,” Christos said and the words barely came out of his mouth. “There is a problem!”

“And what is that?” the man said.

“I forgot to take my envelope from the library! It has some important documents inside!”

The man said, “Aha, so the envelope belongs to you!” He then placed his hand underneath the office desk and retrieved Christos’ envelope.

“Thankfully, it was found!” Christos said and felt relief.

“Don’t worry,” the man said. “Lost stuff and other emergencies find their solution at C1!”

Grabbing the envelope and saying, “Thank you!” he left the building to find the student group he joined before. They were gone. “It seems I must call the Teacher to tell him what happened,” he thought, “Why did I react like that?”

“Good day Christos!” the Teacher said happily. “How’s it going? Did you adapt yourself?”

“Yes and no!” he replied.

“Why, what happened?”

Christos said the whole story.

“Christos, what you thought is not rational,” the Teacher said laughing, “people don’t usually do things like that when they find notes of others. If there was money on the envelope, maybe someone could have stolen it, but your notes are important only to you!”

The Teacher went on, “I am glad however that you keep notes of the things we say and the things that happen to you! It means that you have taken our work seriously!”

“Prepare yourself!” the Teacher added, “in a few days I am returning to Thessaloniki so we can start working! We will continue gathering and interpreting memories!”

Upon hearing the word memory, associatively came the memory that was responsible for his previous panic attack. He told it to the Teacher:

He must have been nine years old at the time, and was generally angry with his family. In order to release his anger, he wrote a letter saying that he would be leaving the house forever, having as an erroneous goal to punish them and express his anger at the same time.

He forgot the paper on his study desk, next to his books, but then, an aunt they didn’t see for a long time visited them.

While all the family, father, brother, he and his aunt were gathered in the living room, his mother Iulia came in holding his farewell note.

“Look what I found!” she said mockingly.

Feeling himself freezing, Christos screamed, “No, don’t read this!”

Iulia ignored him and read: “I don’t like it in this house and tomorrow I will leave forev. . . ” 

“Nooo!!!” Christos yelled and felt completely humiliated, feeling like a complete zero. They opened his soul and threw its content to the garbage.

“The role that emerges from that memory,” said the Teacher, “is that when some secret of mine is discovered by a person close to me, then that person publishes it mockingly, and I feel completely humiliated.”

The Teacher continued, “The consequences of this for you were to not be able to trust no one, and especially women. In every turn you saw traitors and the image of your mother. That is a sample of a plundering of a life!”

Then the Teacher added excited, “That’s why you panicked when you forgot your notes in the library! Well done, you made a great discovery!”

“Indeed,” thought Christos to whom the remembrance of that memory surfaced feelings of humiliation from his mother's act. There was no one around, and tears started flowing.

“Christos,” said the Teacher, “you may think that she humiliated you, but in reality that act humiliated Iulia and not you!”

“I guess you are right!” Christos agreed and wept his tears with his hand.

“Yes,” the Teacher continued, “it seems that since then you felt disappointed in your family! I suppose your aunt got the same message.”

Christos then remembered that his aunt didn’t laugh at all while Iulia read his farewell note. At that time he thought that his aunt considered him ridiculous, but then he realized that her seriousness concealed her anger for Iulia.

“Ever since then you played that game with Iulia,” the Teacher moved on. “When you exploded in the summer on the beach, do you remember what you said?”

“I said many things then, to which one you refer to?”

“When I became sixteen I should have left the house and worked in a bar!”

“You are right!”

“Christos,” the Teacher said, “since you threatened to abandon your mother since childhood, it meant that you understood that if you did so, it would really hurt her! Kids perceive many things!”

“In her turn,” the Teacher went on, “she humiliated you so that you couldn’t leave and so that she could control you!”

Accepting the truth of those words, Christos started to become angry with the thought that his mother would ridicule him. “So, it goes without saying that my explosion in the summer really targeted my mother!” he said and even though his voice could be barely heard, his insides boiled with rage.

“From what it seems, yes,” the Teacher said. “But eventually your father and brother got burned!”

“In a few words,” the Teacher continued, “you still fear women, and you will keep fearing them, so long as you don’t meet new girls! You remember what we said, that the image you have for women must change?”

“Yes, I do. . .”

“Well, I have something to suggest: When you have nothing to do, find a female friend and go for a coffee! And be prepared for everything!”

Christos became terrified with that suggestion. “But I must study at the same time!” he complained.

“You mean that you don’t take breaks? Come on, I am sure some friend of yours will be available these days!”

“But I don’t have female friends!”

“Then try with an acquaintance!”

Christos gave up. “Okay, I will give it a try!” he said and froze with the thought that he would attempt something like this.

“Alright then,” the Teacher said, “so continue with your studies and tell me about your results!”

Upon returning home, Christos’ mind became stuck to the memory about him leaving the house. He had to release his anger urgently.

Entering the flat, Christos unscrewed the wooden pole of the dusting broom and began to strike the bed with all his hate and strength, grunting with every hit he landed on target.

“So. . . you wanted. . . me. . . not. . . to leave. . . huh? Take this. . . and this. . . and THISSSS!”

He kept hitting the bed for a long time, until his body couldn’t take it anymore and fell on the floor exhausted. His anger dissipated.

Once more calm and sober, he gave a promise to himself not to succumb again to threats of public humiliation, but also to try to avoid provoking a public humiliation so that others would not reject him.

Returning to the exercise the Teacher assigned to him, Christos took his mobile phone and began searching the catalogue for girls he knew.

As he searched, the fear he felt before returned stronger. “What I am doing?” he wondered. “Asking a girl to go for a coffee? Am I losing my mind or what?”

His eyes then saw a name, “Aphroditi.” Aphroditi was a colleague of his, whom from what he knew, didn’t date anyone lately. “I will call Aphroditi,” he thought, “and tell her: How are things going Aphroditi? Do you want to go for a coffee?”

He pressed the call button and then, just when he heard the ring tone, he became stunned. A feeling, as if he attempted to do something forbidden.

Aphroditi didn’t answer his call.

Feeling relieved by this, Christos thought, “I suppose she will see my missed call and call later. I have done my part. Time to continue studying then!”

During the following three days, his schedule included only studying, however Aphroditi did not reply. Interpreting it as a lack of interest from her part, he didn’t call again. However, the thought of her not being interested made him feel like less of a man. The familiar sensation of sinking in a deep swamp started to return.

Upon the dawn of the fourth day, and since he couldn’t stay any longer in the flat, Christos went out to make a more productive use of his time. He walked to the university to have more of his questions answered.

On the road, he felt angry with himself, because he expected a reply to his call. “You little brat!” he thought, “As if I will concern myself with you again!”

Christos wanted to start kicking the wall of the nearby building, however a lot of people walked around, so he couldn’t do that. Instead, he took one of his pens and grabbed it with his hand, breaking it in two.

Even with his palm getting covered in blue ink, that still didn’t calm him down. He took a pencil and bit it as hard as he could, releasing all his anger onto it, while at the same time his jaw grinded from rage. With a sudden movement with his hand, being followed by a rough grunt, Christos broke the pencil, the first half of it being bit with his teeth and the other half remaining in his hand.

“Go to pieces!” he said spitting the piece he chewed while at the same time throwing the other half to the ground forcefully.

Christos regained control and calmed himself down. “There will be another opportunity!” he thought and started to see things more optimistic.

At the university, he went first to the toilette so that he could wash his dirty hand. However, the ink dried for good and wouldn’t come off. Christos compared the dried ink with his fear: It couldn’t be removed that easily and that disappointed him. Then he calmed down, and devoted his time in cleaning it. He sat there for an hour washing his hand with water, until in the end, it became completely clean. “This is what I must do with my fears!” he thought and encouraged himself. “I must wash them away!”

With a renewed morale, he went directly to the professor's office.

The professor, being willing and kind, answered all his questions. Later Christos, wanting to have his questions regarding his academic career also answered, went to another professor of the masters course, to ask him if he could follow a career in research after graduating.

The second professor did not concern himself with courtesies and looked rather strict and abrupt in his behavior.

Feeling intimidated by the stern appearance of the professor, Christos only listened to what the professor told him:

“So, you have an average of only 8.1/10 for the first year?” the professor asked, “that is not good grade, you have to try harder if you want to be involved in the academia!”

Christos felt threatened with obstacles he didn’t feel like overcoming: being too exhausted to increase his efforts in studying he decided to discuss the matter with the Teacher on their next meeting.

Allowing himself to relax, even temporarily, he headed towards the bus stop to return home and continue studying, as much as he could.

There, on the bus stop, a girl he didn’t know waited. Not particularly attractive, she didn’t catch Christos’ attention much.

“Excuse me,” the girl asked. “Do you happen to know how often the bus comes?”

“Yes, every twenty minutes more or less,” Christos replied.

“Oh really?” the girl said. “Then there must be a delay! I wait here for almost an hour!”

And then the girl started chatting with Christos and after the bus came, she suggested that they should go out sometime for a coffee or a drink.

Christos willingly said yes, and without being able to believe it, just before getting out of the bus, he wrote down Helens phone number. “See you tomorrow!” Christos said and left the bus.

That event made Christos especially happy, and he called the Teacher to inform him of the good news.

“Excellent, excellent!” the Teacher said. “So now, when you go out, you will sit next to her and you will try to have as much physical contact as you can!”

“Okay, I will give it a try,” said Christos, “but why should I do that?”

“That way you will increase familiarity with her!” the Teacher replied. “Then one thing will bring the other!”

Next day came and Christos impatiently waited to see what would happen with her. However, he didn’t abandon his studies, and abided by the schedule he set for that day.

Night fell and after the two met in the city center, they sat in a bar so they could know each other better.

Although Christos in the beginning didn’t find the girl interesting, with the passage of time he started to consider her increasingly attractive.

Then, he remembered the four stages of rejection. She must have been the third case he tried to verify. The girl appeared to be what the Teacher described as faithful as a rock, but because Christos wanted to verify his own reality of rejection, initially, he didn’t give her importance.

And so, they kept on talking. However, Christos didn't dare to escalate further the situation. It appeared as if the Teacher's counseling did not really sink in. In reality of course, he chose not to follow his advice, out of fear.

“Same shit!” Christos thought and became angry. Nevertheless, this time his anger instead of turning into violence, it transformed into a desire to beat his fear.

The moment he felt ready to attempt a soft touch on her elbow, a teenager guy, around seventeen, came close above the two and said to Helen: “Do you have a light?” His eyes flirted with her and she gave him her lighter. “Thanks,” he said smiling naughtily and left.

This event didn’t seem to be important for Helen and she returned on their conversation.

Christos on the other hand became completely blocked. He got scared and then enraged with the idea that this young man tried to steal his to-be girlfriend.

“That bastard!” he thought angrily and tightened his grip around the chair's hand, while at the same time the girl continued talking to him.

Eventually, Christos couldn’t muster his forces to make another attempt for physical touch, because his mind stuck with his thoughts for the young man. So, the rest of their time passed without any significant development.

Even so, the girl appeared to be quite patient and they renewed their dating after Christos gave his exam.

When he returned home, Christos looked to see if anything similar happened in the past, involving also his brother, Michalis.

Nothing came in his mind, as upon returning home, he only remembered his academic obligations, becoming himself stressed and thus having his subconscious blocked.

The anger for that young lad that interrupted him when he tried to touch Helen did not expressed itself and it had to. He couldn’t hold it inside, he would explode like a nuclear bomb!

He grabbed the pillow of his bed, put it on his face and began to scream as loud as he could.

Screaming for at least five minutes, his voice became from low pitched and rough to high pitched and visa versa, as his vocal cords oscillated at unusual high amplitudes.

Finally, his anger dissipated, but at a price: his pharynx become sore from all his effort. He feared of doing harm upon himself with all these rage outbursts, however, remembering that in his outburst in the summer he lived it through unharmed, he cast away his fear saying, “what is to happen, will happen!”

Personifying the pillow to the young man who flirted with Helen, Christos throwed the pillow forcefully at the bed, and not being able to take it anymore from the emotional exhaustion, he also dropped on bed falling asleep so deep that likened to hibernation.

Two days passed with study and the next day he would give that difficult exam. Then, at noun, the phone rang.

“What news from the front?” the voice of the Teacher sounded cheerful.

“Ohh, how are you?” Christos asked. “Here, studying because I am having the exam tomorrow. . .”

“Naturally, you will rock tomorrow!”

“I only hope to pass,” Christos replied a little timidly.

“Didn’t we say 'heads up?' I only hope to pass,” he said imitating Christos’ voice and then laughed out loud.

Hearing his feigned voice, Christos couldn’t help but laugh as well. The laughter cast anxiety away together with the picture of the young man with Helen two nights ago, and he felt lighter. Yes, he would do well on the exam, why not?

“So,” the Teacher said, “tomorrow I will be on Thessaloniki!”

“Great!” Christos said who felt happy from hearing this. “Should I come tomorrow, after I give the exam?”

“When do you finish?”

“Around four in the afternoon!”

“Okay, should we say around five then? You sure need some time to come from university to Depo!”

“Okay then! Five o’clock it is!”

“Oh, one more thing!”

“What?” Christos asked.

“What happened with the girl? Did you kiss her?”

“No, it didn’t go so far!”

“Fine, you will tell me more thoroughly tomorrow!”

The phone hang up and Christos continued studying.

Next day came and Christos gave the exam at one o’clock. The questions were easier than the ones of June and he evaluated that he passed. However, he still didn’t do as well as he thought he would.

On the way to the Teacher's apartment, sadness overwhelmed him. Even though, just a few days ago he accepted the possibility of not continuing the same career path, this time old demons began haunting him again. He imagined himself not being able to continue in the academics, as he would need to devote more time than he actually could. He became disappointed and felt useless and. . . a feeling came as if everybody looked down upon him for his failure. And on top of this, he couldn’t even become angry, this is how weak he felt.

After getting something on the road to eat from a nearby kiosk he arrived at the Teacher's apartment.

“Welcome Christos to Thessaloniki!” said the Teacher cheerily after seeing Christos. And then, after noticing his melancholic state, he asked, “What happened? You didn’t pass the exam?”

“I guess I passed”, he said, “but. . .”

He told Teacher his thoughts about his meeting with the professor, the one that said that his average grade is very low.

“What should I do?” he asked. “Should I give up or continue with the masters course?”

“How many more years until you finish?”

“One or two, depending on my performance this year.”

“It is not too much,” the Teacher said, “you are halfway through! Half more remains until you finish!”

“I am not sure if I can take this,” Christos said.

“You can continue your course taking it easy; study only until the point you start to feel tired.”

“That way I will not get a high grade!”

“Christos,” the Teacher said, “have you ever seen a successful person, businessman or researcher being famous for his high grades?”

“No,” Christos replied, “but high grades are a precondition! Especially for the course I selected!”

“Maybe your professor exaggerated,” the Teacher said. “What is your average?”

“8.1/10.”

“And this is not a high grade for them?”

“I guess not!”

Then, Christos remembered the last words of the professor he talked to, which apparently he selectively forgot, “Finish with the masters course and then come and find me!”

“See?” the Teacher said. “He said what he said to motivate you to study more! Not because you can’t do something with the grades you have!”

Thinking that the Teacher made a point, Christos calmed down. Since he didn’t come up with something better to do, he could at least finish his degree, studying as much as his endurance allowed him to and see what happened in the end.

He also thought that this way he would have a lot more time to focus on the solution of his social and love problems. “Okay,” he said determined. “I will continue the course and we will have meetings in Thessaloniki at the same time!”

“Wonderful!” said the Teacher. “Let us proceed with the meeting we are already in, discussing other things that trouble you as well!”

“I am ready!”

“First of all,” the Teacher asked, “what happened with the girl you went out with?”

Christos told the Teacher the events of that night.

“I can see that you went out and you didn’t know what to do,” the Teacher said. “You are learning everything from the start! You are like a little child learning to walk!”

Christos disliked that characterization, not only because it was truthful, but also because it reminded him of that young man who asked the girl for light.

He spoke of him to the Teacher.

“Hey, calm down,” the Teacher said, “I don’t think that the average Joe can just walk in and steal your girl. I am pretty sure that your date didn’t occupy her mind with that guy as much as you did!”

Putting the picture of Helen in his mind the moment the young guy spoke to her, he remembered that she didn’t look much interested in him.

“I guess he felt jealous,” Christos guessed, “and he intruded on purpose to mess things up!”

“That is a possible explanation,” the Teacher replied, “however there are more!”

“Like what?”

“It might have been that the young lad was pervasive in his manners, naturally flirting a lot and without doing it on purpose to be annoying!”

“You are right, that is also possible!” Christos agreed.

“Next time, try to touch her more; hug her or even try to kiss her!”

“Okay, I will give it a try!” Christos said.

“Changing topic,” the Teacher said, “since we have already spoken of registry changing, what would you say if we found your main role of your private logic and tried to interpret it?”

“Why not?” Christos said and took a pen and a white page by himself.

“Write down any memory that comes to mind and try to focus on the first six years of your life!”

A memory popped up on Christos’ mind. One he never thought about for a long time:

During kindergarden, near the age of five, he had to go to the bathroom but refused to go due to shyness. Finally, he couldn’t hold himself anymore and soiled his pants.

He remembered that when he entered the class all the kids laughed at him, making him feel humiliation and ridicule. He couldn’t react at all, becoming completely immobilized. He escaped his torture only when his parents came and took him home.

“Hmm”, the Teacher said thoughtful. “This memory must have defined you as a person! Together with other memories, like the one with the revue (Ch. 6) and the one with the soldiers (Ch. 11) from all these it seems that your existential fear is humiliation!”

“What’s that fear again?” asked Christos with interest.

“The existential one!”

“What is the existential fear?”

“It is the fear that is given to you by the parent that is your leader in the family!”

“And who is my leader in my family?” Christos asked.

The Teacher then said, “I think it is high time for more theory, Christos,” and then went on, “When the first child is born in a family, there is a clash between the two parents as to which one will impact their values and beliefs to that child. The parent from whom the child will receive the most values becomes its leader. From the other parent, the child adopts his or her behavior mostly. The second child, if a second child is born, goes necessarily to the other parent, so he or she becomes its leader.”

The Teacher continued, “So, in that sense, the family has two leaders, the parents, and the first two children. The family then divides into two groups and the relationship between these groups is relative to the relationship of the leaders of the groups.”

“When the leaders have a good relationship between them, the members of the one group cope well with the members of the other group. When the have conflicts, then the members of the opposing groups also have conflicts.”

“Additionally, children that arrive in odd order (first, third, fifth etc) belong to the first group and have a good relationship. The children that arrive in even order (second, fourth, sixth etc) belong to the second group and in turn, they also cope well with each other.”

Christos said, “So, this is why I am always fighting with Michalis! Because my parents are not doing well together!”

“Yes, exactly!” the Teacher said. “If your parents had a good relationship, you would also be friends with your brother!”

The Teacher continued, “So the parent who is deemed important by the members of his/her group, is the one that instigates the existential fear to the members of this group by imposing conditions for his/her love.”

“What type of conditions does that parent put?”

“For example, the parent might demand submission and, in return, be affectionate to the child. Or maybe he could ask for good grades in school and in return he would give his love. The examples are endless.”

“Now,” the Teacher continued, “do you remember what we said about children?”

“That they are completely at the mercy of their parents?” asked Christos who started to make sense of things.

“That,” the Teacher replied, “but also for the child, the love of a parent is important as oxygen is!”

“And how does this relate to what we have already said?” asked Christos, who became a bit confused.

“The child fears that if it doesn’t satisfy the condition of its parent, then it will be deprived of his or her love.”

“And then what happens if it doesn’t?” asked Christos.

“Then the child dies emotionally. And this is the existential fear that the leader leader will not love us anymore.”

“Do all people have an existential fear?”

“To some people the fear is greater, to others it is smaller. Nevertheless, everyone has an existential fear.”

“What determines how big the existential fear of a person will be?” asked Christos, who saw great interest in what the Teacher said to him.

“The cruelty of the condition that the leader-parent sets, as well as the frequency in which he or she imposes it.”

The Teacher continued, “For example, if the consequence for not abiding by the condition is the threat of the parent of throwing the child out of the house, you can only imagine how terrified the kid will be if it dares to disobey!”

“I see. . . but how can one identify his existential fear?”

“The existential fear causes immobilization to the person. Understand Christos, the consequences of breaking the rule of the leader can be so severe that the person freezes completely: emotionally, physically and mentally.”

“And then what?”

“Then, after their existential is verified, the child dies emotionally, until it recovers after some time. That can be hours, days or even months, depending on the severity of the fear. When their existential becomes verified, some people can’t deal with the pain and they commit suicide!”

“For example,” continued the Teacher, “in the newspapers more often than not, incidents are referred where a student commits suicide because of a failure in the entrance exams. Because that person cannot face the pain of the rejection of its leader, who has put the term of entrance to higher education, the student then prefers to commit suicide!”

“If the child submits to the terms of its leader, it becomes angry because it must sacrifice one of its own, very important needs. This anger remains inside and causes psychosomatics, headaches, palpitations and even cancer. Sometimes the anger becomes so great that the child explodes and either turns against itself causing self-harm, either it turns against the world, harming others.

Going back to Christos’ case, the Teacher asked, “At the moment of your outburst in the summer, you remember what you said?”

“Yes: You have humiliated me!”

“That is what you felt you suffered from your parents!”

“And now what? How can we find my existential fear? Is it possible to be cured?”

“Of course it is!” the Teacher replied. “Everything is possible!” The Teacher continued, “We have two methods for this. The first one is called transcendence. Transcendence completes itself through the following phases: First, I become aware of my existential fear after it has happened to me. Second, I become aware of my existential fear during its verification. Third, I become aware of my existential fear before it happens; I see it coming and let it come and become verified. If I experience all these phases with acceptance, then I have transcended my existential fear.”

“What is the other method?”

“The second method to overcome the existential fear,negate existential fear and write it down with detail. Next, I rewrite the memory but in a way that my reactions bring me satisfaction. It should be noted that in the second version of the memory, we don’t change the actions of others. I have the right to only change myself. That way, I negate my existential fear. It is obvious, of course, that the second version of the memory must be read often, because that way the first registry will be erased and replaced with the new one.”

“I can’t remember any memory of me being immobilized in the past, apart from that one in kindergarden, that we just found now,” Christos said.

“It might not be ready to show itself yet,” the Teacher said. “On the course of your development, it will make its appearance for sure.”

“Great, so what will you do now?” the Teacher asked, as the appointment was over.

“I’m thinking of calling Helen for a second date!”

“Very well!” the Teacher stated. “And remember: Aim for physical contact.”

“Okay, will do that!”

Leaving the Teacher's house at Depo, Christos returned to his flat and arranged to go out with Helen the same night.

They went to see a film this time. The seats made it difficult for him to hug her, but nevertheless Christos placed his palm over hers.

Helen seemed to be receptive to that.

During the five–minute intermission, they sat at the bar and a young man looked her with the eyes of a vulture.

Christos began to lose his cool and become angry. Momentarily, he imagined grabbing the chair next to him and slamming it on the young man's head. Remembering Teacher's words however, who told him that one couldn’t simply steal his date, he managed to regain control and focus on Helen.

Later, after the movie finished, they went to a bar and Christos escalated a bit further, he caressed her hand.

The girl seemed to like it.

And then, he didn’t know what to do next. A fleeting thought suggested he should kiss her, but then he second guessed himself, “Like that, so sudden?”

They talked about various topics, however Helen started to gradually become impatient, as Christos didn’t do something more daring.

Time came to leave.

“It is now or never!” Christos thought impatiently and he hugged her.

“Your hand feels heavy on my shoulders!” Helen said rather annoyed.

Realizing that he indeed put his hand a bit clumsily on the girl's back, as if he just let it fall from the sky, he felt discouraged and removed his hand from her.

After a while they said goodnight. Helen said, “I’ll see you around,” but she clearly looked displeased.

Next day, Christos called Helen to renew their date, but she wouldn’t return his calls. Nor the following days did she make any contact with him.

“It’s okay,” the Teacher said to Christos on the phone, “they will be another chance during your academic year!”

Indeed, the semester started next week.