Appendix II – a Healing Ritual

A ritual for self-acceptance

It is recommended that you audio record yourself reciting the guided meditation below and replay it for yourself as a healing exercise. Before you do, though, please read the entire ritual word for word and make sure it makes sense to you. Feel free, of course, to adjust the wording to accommodate your situation.

It would be best to do this in a comfortable, private place. Turn off your cell phone, put the kids’ favorite movie on and prevent any other likely interruption. Have a pen and paper nearby so that you can write down insights during or after the ritual. Whether you think of this process as an invocation, a spell or a meditation, engage in it with care. It will release psychic energy, bring back memories and possibly evoke strong emotions. If you feel discomfort when pre-reading the script it is recommended that you perform this with a loved one or trained counselor or minister.

Find a position that is comfortable for you, but not one in which you are likely to fall asleep. Take a deep breath. Speak a blessing onto the room that you now occupy. Place yourself in the presence of your Higher Power. Invoke the support of an angel, or saint or spirit guide if you wish. If you want, you may use material components to support the blessing. For example, light a candle, use holy water, have a blest book or image nearby, whatever gives you the deepest feeling of safety.

Now close your eyes and breathe slowly and deeply. Imagine yourself in a peaceful place, filled with goodness all around you. It may be a forest, a beach, a church or any setting you feel connected and safe. See your surroundings. Look at the details. Listen the sounds of the place. Smell the aroma.

Now imagine a golden light descending to surround you with goodness. Feel it embrace you.  When you breathe in, you inhale the light and goodness. When you exhale, you release all pain and negativity. Breathe like this for three deep breaths, until your transformation into light has been completed.

Now, in your imagination, summon a large spirit-mirror to stand before you. See its polished surface, its frame and legs if it has any. This mirror will come at your call whenever you are in need of it. Look into its depths and see your reflection in it. See your spirit-self as a perfect and ageless reflection of the inner you. See the good and the bad, the strength and the weakness. Take your time. Take note of any emotions you experience as you see yourself with utter honesty. What kind of person do you see? As you gaze, adjectives will come to mind…some of them positive, some of them negative. Don’t judge or resist or argue…just allow the adjectives to come, and place them for the moment in front of you.  

When you are ready, thank your mirror for its honesty. Take a deep breath and prepare to return to the room where your body is, knowing that you will return to this place shortly. Now, float gently back to your room. After you have opened your eyes, take a deep breath, and write down on paper all the adjectives that you thought of, placing the positive adjectives in one column and the negative ones in the other. Look carefully at the list so as to have it memorized.

Set the list aside for now and prepare to travel back to your peaceful place and your mirror. Take your seven breaths again.

Now think of one of the negative adjectives you thought of when viewing yourself. Do you remember the first time anyone ever called you that? Perhaps it was a parent, a sibling, a teacher or a classmate. Tell your mirror to conjure up the image of that person when this happened. Remember that you are in a safe space and that any image you conjure is here to help you and is under your control. Let the image form as clearly as it can. Note the tone of voice, the facial expression, the location. Now float backward a bit and separate yourself from the incident. See the offender alone and accept that their negativity was not about you…it was about them. See their frame of mind, their life context and their history. What pressures were they under? What abuse had they received? What pains did they carry?

Now, lift up the hands of your imagination and summon the adjective they spoke to you. Picture the word floating in your hands glowing with light. Tell the person that this does not apply to you and gently give it back to them. On a future occasion, you may wish to summon them again so that you can understand them better and forgive, but for now see them take the word back from you and tell them to go in peace. After they have left, do the same with each person who gave you a negative adjective. Allow this process to take as long as you need. If you cannot remember anyone saying one of the negative adjectives, you may imagine a trusted childhood authority taking the word back from you instead. Remember, you can return to your room and come back to this process at any time.

When you have finished dismissing all the negative adjectives, ask your mirror again to show you your reflection. This time, express forgiveness to yourself for all the occasions when you acted on the negative adjectives, and for all the moments when you believed them. Now, bless your reflection and see yourself as you were created to be. Say to your reflection the following affirmations and any others that come to your mind, and see your reflection glow and receive these truths:

You are beautiful.

You are a good human being.

You are precious.

You are wonderful just as you are.

You are kind.

You are caring.

You do valuable work.

You are loved.

You love others.

You are needed.

You are wanted.

You are worthy of respect.

You are living a good life.

You are an important part of society.

You are part of the natural order.

You are part of the circle of life.

You are part of the Universe.

You belong.

Take a golden breath.

Now, say each of the affirmations again using “I” instead of “you”

Smile and glow.

Take a golden breath.

Now, watch as your reflection steps out of the mirror as a three-dimensional person.

Embrace your self.

When you are ready…ascend back to the room where your body is,  slowly and gently. Again, when you are ready, open your eyes.

Pick up the pen and paper and strike the negative adjectives from the list. Now, try to think of one way that you will remind yourself of these affirmations on a regular basis. If you had difficulty speaking any of them, note that for future work or reflection. You may, of course, repeat this process at any time you wish. However, if the negativity persists, I urge you to seek trained or even professional help.

An online recorded version of this ritual may be found at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-19KRcKK7R8&ab_channel=JoePugh