Digital Love: A Modern Dating Memoir

I still remember the first time

I saw your digital photo.

You wore a smirk in your selfie,

Black baseball cap and muscle shirt,

Bound earbuds slung around your neck,

Light, tattoo-covered skin on brawn.

Drawn in mysteriously,

As if I already knew you,

I wondered, “Have we met before?”

I combed your bio thoroughly.

Checked your location, Google searched,

Gripped by an obscure connection.

It was always like that for me.

Near instantly my soul attached.

Exchanging messages daily,

We quickly became familiar.

Just as if we had been starving,

We devoured one another.

Our weeks conversing became months,

And despite miles between us,

We molded a relationship.

Our eager bond cured my numbness;

Long unfelt emotions returned.

At last, we decided to meet.

For our first rendezvous

My female friend followed to guard.

Outside the agreed on venue,

Rhythmic butterflies fluttering.

The heavy aluminum door

Squealed in complaint as we strode through.

On stage your fingers were flying.

Red electric guitar blazing.

As your blue gaze landed on me,

Your face lit up with a smile,

And right then I knew for certain,

I relinquished too much power.

Pieces of myself I hold dear,

Taking care as not to tear,

The bandages from my carved heart.

Somewhere along the pathway,

From curious strangers to friends,

Skillfully, you loosened the gauze.

Like a fool, I sat back and watched

As you unsecured the dressings.

Without question, I put faith in

Intuition. Never doubted

The man you pretended to be.

This man I knew digitally.

We drank, we laughed, you drove us to

Your favorite secluded spot.

As you kissed my lips, I recalled

An abandoned conversation.

“First date rule, I only have sex,”

you wrote, “if I feel a connection.”

You didn’t ask if I wanted to leave,

Simply rolled over the engine.

Northbound you spoke of family.

Parents proud of all your success,

An envious older sister,

She constantly seeks approval.

I was quiet but attentive,

Squeezing in questions if you’d pause.

Gazing through the passenger glass,

The black silhouettes shifting,

As the moonlit scenery passed.

Ahead, a faint glow brightening.

Cruising through the metropolis,

A vast difference from before,

“I need to drop off my guitar,”

An excuse you gave at your door.

Crossing the threshold to your world,

At once, giddy as a schoolgirl.

I looked through your trove of treasures,

An avid Viking collector,

You spoke of that several times.

Displayed among your collection,

You spot lit the leather journal,

I mailed you when your father died.

I was always a little too

Excited when you messaged first,

Uplifting when you would fall down,

Agreeable and quick to please.

As adults, we no longer played

Juvenile games; that’s what I thought.

On the sofa, you kissed my lips,

My neck, my jawbone, my earlobes,

As your hands explored my body.

Suddenly, I was on your lap,

Your large hands gripping my backside,

Squeezing as I straddled your thighs.

Wordlessly, with one quick motion,

You stood, lifting me against you.

I felt petite, light, feminine,

As you carried me to your bed.

Lust throbbed heavily in my core,

I needed you deep inside.

I wish I could say our story

Didn’t end after you were sated.

Because in all my fantasizes

Never once did I imagine

That night was my one and only

With you I loved digitally.