The Dark That Begins
Runner-up-Booksie 2022 First Chapter Novel Contest
Book by: steve pantazis
Reads: 2333 | Likes: 8 | Shelves: 0 | Comments: 3
Recent Comments
I thought this was an enthralling first chapter. Glad you were awarded a runner-up prize, you've inspired me to enter in future contests.
Mon, August 29th, 2022 2:29am
Author
Reply
Rio, thank you for the kind words. Good luck on your future contest entry.
Best,
Steve
Keep writing. You'll get better. Feels just the teensiest bit wordy to me. I have to say when I got to the end, I didn't feel an impulse to turn the page to see what came next. Yes, you dropped a couple of hints with the memory and the physical description but somehow it's not enough.
I don't think you have defined your milieu well enough. Are we in the far future or the far past? Another planet altogether? Babylon? Sumeria? Akkadia? Egypt? Or is this a fantasy with magic? A Conan the Barbarian kind of thing? It's confusing. What's the technology level?
Author
Reply
Thanks for your feedback. It's a high fantasy story set in an ancient land like Middle Earth but centered around a desert civilization.
Tue, August 30th, 2022 2:31pmFacebook Comments
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Rio Nolund
I thought this was an enthralling first chapter. Glad you were awarded a runner-up prize, you've inspired me to enter in future contests.
Mon, August 29th, 2022 2:29amAuthor
Reply
Glad you enjoyed it. I wish you good luck with your future contest entry.
Tue, August 30th, 2022 2:28pm