Table of Contents
Potatoes and Wishes
Experimentation and Precision
Deer
Crazy Kids
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FromBlackToViloet
Hello, I really like how you set up the dialogue here. You could already tell there was tension between the characters. I like how you showed through their actions the different feelings they felt. It looked like a regular dinner, but more than meets the eyes. I wish santa clause would give me powers. I would so want like invisibitly or talk to animals. I like how you present the personalities btw Crystal and paul, you can tell their siblings lol. Also when you give the desrcptions what the character's look like, sometimes more like subtle hints, instead of saying what hair color or so they are. Like imply more how the siblings differ from appearance maybe. Overall, you have a good built up with the characters, like their interactions are clear and concise. There were some few grammar errors, I sort of pointed out, but it did not take away from the story. Really good start so far!:}
Tue, April 12th, 2022 1:39amAuthor
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Thanks for the review. I appreciate your honest thoughts. :)
Fri, May 6th, 2022 1:44pm