Sporked

Sporked

Somehow, when I returned home that day, I knew something was wrong. I did not really know it for a few days. When I went to get my fork, I could not find it. What was going on? Where did I put it? I searched all around my desk and in my backpack, where I last saw it. But I could not find my fork and it started to bother me. Where was it? What did I do with it?

None of my searches found the fork. I thought and thought about the last place I had it. The last place that I could remember I had my fork was at work, in Newport News, Virginia, eating from a microwaved Rice-A-Roni pouch. It was very good because I had added small green peppers and scallions sliced up from the garden. I had my fork to eat it with. But, now I wanted it and could not find it. I looked everywhere for it.

Then I remembered that while I was riding home, and while I was in the tunnel, maybe a hundred feet underneath the Chesapeake Bay, my backpack seemed to glow a violet color. It was in the shotgun seat right beside me. My fork was in my backpack. I could not look long as I was driving through the tunnel. What in the world I wondered?

When I pulled up out of the tunnel, still on the interstate, the backpack was normal again. I didn’t think anymore about it and I did not look into my backpack.

I had heard on the radio that the planet Pluto had been demoted from planet status.

This really irritated the inhabitants of the planet so they devised a plan to Spork the earth. That is, they would transport all of the Earths eating forks to Pluto and keep them for a while in a frozen vault until they could be a planet again. After all, they didn't have much going for them.

Mine was one of the first forks to be Sporked. My fork was gone.

The Plutonians, as we called them, had started to Spork the earth. Their plan was to transport all the forks to their planet. But it soon turned out not to be enough. We would also get Sprooned. Just as soon as they Sporked us, they figured out how to Sproon. All of Earth’s spoons would soon be transported too. Without any forks and spoons, fingers became very popular but it is very difficult to eat soup with your fingers. They left the knives alone because they could not stop laughing about having all the Earths forks and spoons.

The reason that the Earth got Sporked and Sprooned was that we had their name wrong. Their name is not Pluto. It is Spluto. That's what really made them mad and that's why they Sporked and Sprooned us.

One year later all the forks and spoons were returned to Earth. They were now violet in color.